The slog goes on

Because I was upset about the skin burns and pain under my arm, the radiation oncologist altered my treatment plan a bit. The first 25 doses were to be aimed at an area that includes the lymph nodes that are left after six were removed during surgery. The last five doses were to be a less intense treatment of just the original tumor site. To give my underarm area some respite, he switched to  the tumor-site treatment for five days and will finish up by going back to treating the wider area for my final four treatments. 

I think the whole area looks awful and it hurts like a bad sunburn...but when I saw the doctor yesterday, he said I am tolerating the radiation well. Then today my skin started peeling. One of the nurses at the clinic applied a burn dressing made with Leptospermum honey and that relieved the pain for several hours. I dread what those last four radiation treatments might do to me.

The doctor did offer me the option of taking an extra day off from treatment, but I simply cannot bear the thought of dragging this out any longer. So we will push ahead, and my last treatment should be September 20. That evening, Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, begins and that seems symbolic, because on the 21st, it will be one year since I went in for a mammogram and was told that I likely had cancer. So, I am really focused on getting this last phase of aggressive treatment over with and putting an end to a miserable year.

The lymphedema in my hand is a bit better, according to my physical therapist. Doesn't really look better to me, but she is going by measurements. I continue to wear the ugly compression sleeve and glove all day and to do the lymphatic drainage massage daily. Today, my physical therapist taught David how to do the massage, which will be very helpful.

Meanwhile, just to make things more "interesting," I came down with a bad cold last week. So, instead of doing something pleasant over this past weekend, I was stuck  home with sneezing, streaming eyes and nose,  a slight fever, and a heavy dose of resentment.

Over the past few weeks, I have been experiencing a lot of anger about this whole experience and the seemingly endless series of side effects, setbacks, and roadblocks. Getting lymphedema especially felt like the last straw.

I have to do everything I can to support my immune system and give my body what it needs to decrease the likelihood of the cancer coming back. That includes dealing with my anger, so I've scheduled an appointment with a psychotherapist.

Maybe a witch doctor next.